| You blocked me from your Xanga. Now I know where the lines are really drawn.
Stay the fuck out of my life.
|
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| For tonight love doesn't mean
loss. The windows fog, and like the future they are so unclear, and made more
honest with every breath. Together we sketch our lives, a finger drawn heart-
so imperfect, half yours- half mine. Oddly shaped, but we try desperately to
fit the mold. The radio's on- as the seek button cycles through life choices, it
stops and waits for you to decide whether this love songs good enough to play.
Anticipation- you've left me waiting, as i realize- I'm just a choice for you.
Can we stretch this out- just one more day, because...i still have EVERYTHING
left to say. |
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| its worth noting that i only write in this thing when im in a terrible mood.
its also worth noting that im basically just looking for some sort of sympathy vote from the general public.
also
of note is that ive already written this twice in the last 20 minutes,
and each time ive lost it due to some random act of god hating me.
yeah, did i say its been a bad day?
i like yellowcard, and theyre an emo band, and fuck you if you have something to say about it.
i
want to just sleep for a couple days in a row. this whole week is just
going to be an exercise in getting slapped in the face. id think it
would make some sense if i just wanted to avoid that by sleeping for a
while.
that sounds like a plan, indeed.
unfortunately, i have a million hours at work, so i cant necessarily just sleep the days away.
its
not that ill really be 'working', i just have to be there.
yeah, im that
kid.
i never work hard. ever. but guess what? i have more hours than you. and higher pay, too.
im allowed to be narcissistic, i had a bad day.
my
friends lives are falling down around them and all i can do is talk
smart to them because im too afraid of saying "i dont know, life just
sucks sometimes".
im the one with the answers, i cant just come up with nothing, theyre counting on me.
im out of money.
because i'm out of money, i don't eat.
did i mention ive been having a bad day.
this is going to sound sad, so just, you know, quit reading.
its
days like these i wish i had a girl around here. days when im so
fucking beaten down i just want someone to hold on to for a while.
cause they dont care. they dont care if your reasons are stupid or
youre being cranky or youve been listening to too much emo music. it
doesnt matter. i wish i had someone around here that i could just show
up and be welcome there. someone who i could watch my stupid fucking
girly movies with when im too exhausted with life to do anything but
lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling.
its nice having friends
here and stuff, and you can tell me theyre just as good, but they
arent, so your words are falling on deaf ears.
i dont know, whatever.
did i say i was having a bad day?
i think i did somewhere.
maybe ill sleep some tonight. i doubt it, but im just saying, maybe.
that always seems to happen though, when i think about
it. when something is coming up in the future that im really excited
about and i plan heavily into it, it usually ends up getting shit on by
a rhinoceros at the worst possible time.
im sure thats me just fooling myself into thinking today was harder than any other day.
i
hate when i psychoanalyze myself, but i cant help but think everything
i say or do is just a bunch of pathetic bullshit. it really is.
but thats what this is here for, for me to get all that pathetic bullshit out of me and into you.
and sometimes it works pretty well at it.
fuck it, im eating tonight.
ill stop eating when i cant pay for it anymore.
talk about lack of vocabulary.
i think im having a bad day, i dont even know anymore.
i dont even know anymore. |
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